• Connect With Us:
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Ready, Set, Groan: Here's The Best Joke From The Edinburgh Fringe Festival

Last Updated by Camila Domonoske on

The very best joke of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, as determined by a poll of the British public, was delivered by Ken Cheng. In a deadpan voice, of course.

"I'm not a fan of the new pound coin," Cheng said. "But then again, I hate all change."

Cheng said he was "very proud" of his victory. "As a tribute, I will name my firstborn son after this award and call him 'Joke of the Fringe,' " he said.

Second place in the "Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe" contest went to Frankie Boyle: "Trump's nothing like Hitler," he said. "There's no way he could write a book."

Third place was Alexei Sayle: "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?"

Dave, if you were curious, is a TV channel. It says the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is considered the largest arts festival in the world. A panel of comedy critics and reviewers selected a shortlist of one-liners from the festival, then 2,000 British people voted on which was the funniest. The comedians' names were left out, to keep celebrity from overshadowing ...

Oh, who are we kidding. You don't want facts about the contest. You want more jokes.

Here are the champion jokes of the past five years, as delivered by the victors.

(That 2013 winner may requires some familiarity with British slang and candy bars to be comprehensible.)

And this year's runners-up, Nos. 4 through 15:

  • I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her. Lew Fitz
  • I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella.' But he hesitated. Andy Field
  • Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant. Mark Simmons [Harvester is a British restaurant chain.]
  • I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it ... Jimeoin
  • I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house. Ed Byrne
  • I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died ... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine. Olaf Falafel
  • Whenever someone says, "I don't believe in coincidences," I say, "Oh my God, me neither!" Alasdair Beckett-King
  • A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event. Angela Barnes
  • As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer. Adele Cliff
  • For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it. Phil Wang
  • I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark. Adam Hess
  • I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act. Tim Vine

So far, no fatalities have been reported as a result of any of these jokes.

Copyright 2017 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

Watch PBS Newshour:

newshour-logo-hires.pngMore News from PBSNewshour

News from PBS Newshour

Trump pullback from bipartisan health care fix gives Washington whiplash

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioHARI SREENIVASAN: Confusion reigns in Washington tonight over an effort to save the...

News Wrap: Sessions insists he didn’t lie about Russian contacts to Senate

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioHARI SREENIVASAN: In the days other news: Attorney General Jeff Sessions insisted...

Trump promised to give a grieving military father $25,000

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioHARI SREENIVASAN: Army Corporal Dillon Baldridge was killed in Afghanistan in June....

Xi Jinping celebrates China’s rising power — and his own

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioHARI SREENIVASAN: President Xi Jinping opened Chinas twice-per-decade Communist...

Rep. Gallego: Democrats are going to protect U.S. — and your paycheck

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioJUDY WOODRUFF: Now to our series of conversations on the future of the Democratic...

How did consoling Gold Star families become political?

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioHARI SREENIVASAN: We move from Congress to the controversies swirling around the...

The battle for Mosul is over, but this hidden ISIS danger could lurk for years

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioHARI SREENIVASAN: But first: The de facto capital of the Islamic State, Raqqa, in...

Escaping Harvey Weinstein was a ‘cat-and-mouse game,’ says Katherine Kendall

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioHARI SREENIVASAN: Lets turn to the continuing fallout and reaction to the Harvey...

Witnessing the collision of two neutron stars is a ‘textbook changer.’ Here’s why

Watch Video | Listen to the AudioHARI SREENIVASAN: Astrophysicists and astronomers all over the world are...

As Rohingya refugees continue to flee from persecution, here’s how you can help

A Rohingya refugee girl poses with a chicken at the Balukhali refugee camp near Coxs Bazar in Bangladesh. Photo by...

Why this Social Security boost is no boon for lower earners

Photo by Karen Roach/via Adobe Editor’s Note: Journalist Philip Moeller is here to provide the answers you need on...

This Japanese ‘hidden figure’ enlightened the world with her sunspot sketches

Hisako Koyama spent five decades inspecting the sun, especially sunspots. Sunspots are temporary dark spots that...

Read the draft of the bipartisan health care deal

The PBS NewsHour has obtained the draft language of the Senate bipartisan health care deal brokered by Sens. Lamar...

WATCH: White House says Trump contacts families of slain when authorized

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders says President Donald Trump has made as much contact as possible...

All the sexual assault or harassment allegations against Harvey Weinstein, recapped

Film producer Harvey Weinstein attends the 2016 amfAR New York Gala at Cipriani Wall Street in New York. Photo by...